Raise A Glass for Lauren!

It didn't hit me until this morning that tomorrow I'll be celebrating Lauren's 21st Birthday .. without her. While I know that Lauren will be celebrating in Heaven and laughing with us, somehow that just doesn't make it hurt any less. I know how excited Lauren had been to turn 21 and I know we would've made sure her Birthday was the best -- which we still will -- but I do wish she was here.

It's been almost 8 months since Lauren got her wings .. sometimes it feels like it's been forever. Other times, I feel like it was just yesterday. That horrific night plays over and over in my mind sometimes, but I'm so thankful for the nights I get to hang out with Lauren in my dreams and we're laughing or doing something stupid.

I can't even count the number of times I pick up my phone to text her ... or think "I have to tell Lauren that" ... or the times I would give anything to be able to talk to her. Lauren was one of the few people who has never left my side during the many years we've been friends and would have still been making me laugh at 98, so the thought of her being away from her for so long is .. well, terrifying.

I know that tomorrow will come and go. We will all have a great time celebrating and soon it will be February 5th (and time to celebrate my mother-in-laws Birthday .. not her 21st, though), and there will be many days, weeks, and months in the future that I will miss Lauren, but with the support of my husband, family, and super awesome friends, I know that I will continue to live my life the way I should.

I keep telling myself -- life is not over now that Lauren's gone, it's just different. I'm learning to live this "different" life the best I can because I've only got one shot and we never know when our own story will be over.

In 45 minutes, Lauren will be 21 in Heaven. Raise your glass & celebrate an amazing person who left us far too soon.

"So don't wait for someone to tell you, 'It's too late' cuz these are the best days. There's always something tomorrow, so I say let's make the best of tonight...."