Wait a Second - Those aren't arm holes...

If you know me very well at all, you know I tend to have anxiety over new situations .. and just can't be trusted to conquer them on my own. (Have you met my father? We're quite similar!) This is something I have been working very hard on over the past couple years and thank God I married someone who is the most laid-back person on earth and can just roll with it - he's really been the culprit in reducing most of my anxiety.

Today I went in for a non-stress test. We had decided at my last appointment that this would be the best option (after I cried.. ha!) to make sure baby was doing fine and didn't need to come out yet. I got there super early because that's what I do and I have this theory that if I'm early, I'll get in early - at my clinic/hospital it tends to work every time!

I have NEVER stayed in a hospital before, been in a hospital gown, had an IV, been hooked up to monitors, or any of that fun stuff. While that may seem silly to most of you, I have been thinking about this and it has been making me a little nervous (see paragraph one on new situations). Plus, I was a little nervous about how the test would go just because it's always a little scary to have a test done, but Poppy has been SUPER active so I had a feeling everything would be just fine.

The first nurse was horrible - she basically threw a gown at me and pointed to the bathroom. My anxiety quickly turned to humor - Turns out, these gowns have holes in them for breastfeeding (quite the concept - I didn't know they existed). However, I didn't realize the purpose of the holes until AFTER I had attempted to put both my head and an arm through them. I just ended up in a jumbled mess and couldn't help but look in the mirror and laugh. That nurse probably wondered why it took me 15 minutes to put on the gown in the bathroom! The best part was that the gown was so huge on me, that the holes were on my stomach! But this is what happens to me when I'm left alone...

I really was not fond of this nurse. After a run in yesterday with an extremely rude lady at the medical equipment store who tried to tell me 20 times that my insurance wouldn't cover the breast pump that they had told me a few weeks ago they would cover, I was not in the mood for rude people. My first sign that I should turn around was when I walked in the door and (without looking up) she said, "What do you want?" By the way, she called my insurance company and what do you know - they WOULD cover the cost of the breast pump as I had explained to her 1,000 times. She then went on to bicker about how my doctor wasn't in their system yet, the auditor's would throw a fit about her crossing something out on a form, and how my insurance must be the only one still doing that because her daughter tried to get one covered about a month ago and couldn't and they are just so expensive. I felt like she wanted me to go into therapist mode and tell her how I couldn't imagine how heartbreaking that was for her and her daughter and offer to buy her daughter one (which is something I would probably do in my crazy emotional pregnant state), but instead I just attempted to smile and jotted her name down so I could complain about her to someone higher up later .. which I won't do because I am a "kill a person with kindness" kind of person so I'm more likely to take her cookies or something.

Back to the nurse... She didn't explain anything (and I like to have things explained very clearly..over and over.. until I understand fully) and for some reason my vocal cords were temporarily unavailable and instead of asking I just went with it. She asked me where the doctor usually finds the heartbeat and I showed her without hesitation - it's ALWAYS in the same place. She played around with the monitor forever, and I was starting to get nervous because I could tell she couldn't find it ... seriously, I think those few minutes lasted an eternity. I was about ready to grab it myself because for a brief second I believed after 9 months of being pregnant, I would suddenly be an expert at finding my baby's heartbeat. Then she said, "Well, I think we'll try the other side" and found it right away .. phew. Doesn't Poppy know not to scare me like that?!

Finally, a different nurse (who I swear was sent from Heaven) came in and said, "Oh my goodness. Let's get you a pillow and cover you up and here's the remote for the TV and why is this blood pressure cuff still on you?"  I had to look completely uncomfortable, but why I didn't just ask for a pillow I do not know. This nurse - I liked. The good news is, she's working this weekend so hopefully we'll be seeing her again.

I loved being hooked up to the monitors and hearing Poppy's heartbeat the whole time. Poppy got the hiccups and that was pretty cool, too. He/she was also SUPER active so I got to hear all sorts of sounds. I felt a few stronger contractions while I was there and the nurse commented on the monitor picking them up.

My doctor came in and said the results looked perfect. Poppy was doing just fine in my tummy - as I predicted - motherly instinct already. When I chose not to be induced last night, I got very emotional because I was so afraid if I made the wrong choice I would hurt Poppy .. but my doctor wouldn't let me do anything that wasn't safe and I feel pretty good about the decision now knowing that Poppy didn't need to come out yet anyway. I had a great talk with my doctor about everything - he's just certain baby will come this weekend and thinks it will be quick (he just didn't want me to cry again..). If no baby, we will chat on Monday and come up with a plan.

This was a really long post with a lot of unnecessary/boring information that you probably really didn't want to read. Benny says I can take a 5 minute story and turn it into an 18 page novel. I call that talent. I mostly typed it out because I'm out of room in my pregnancy journal (which for some reason didn't go past 39 weeks...whoever made that book had obviously never dealt with a Poppy) and want to remember every detail - so next time I'm pregnant I wont attempt to stick my head through boob holes. Don't lie - it's happened to you, too.