The Day Before Poppy

***This post was done the day before I went in for my induction. Since I didn't share with everyone that I was being induced for a few different reasons, I waited until now to post it!***

I woke up around 6am this morning when Benny got up for work. My boss threw in the towel yesterday and told me to be done working. At first I wanted to tell her that I'd work one more day - I don't want to spend any days without my baby - but in the end, I'm glad I had today off just to relax and prepare myself the best I can for tomorrow.

I cleaned the microwave, organized underneath the TV (husband throwing video games everywhere..ugh), put away the dishes, cleaned out the food pantry, and watched last week's episode of SYTYCD all before the doctor called.

My nurse called around 9 am. I was a little disappointed as I was expecting it to be my doctor, but my nurse is really cool (and happens to be my neighbor) so I was okay with it. She knew that I didn't want to hear about the induction but at this point I had accepted that Poppy was not about to come without a little help and when I had left the doctor on Friday, he had said I'd be coming in Tuesday morning at 6am if no baby came over the weekend.

But when we ACTUALLY made the plan ... it was too real for me. I got a little shaky, a little emotional, and started running around like a chicken with my head cut off. A baby? Tomorrow? For real? I've only had .. oh, 9 months .. to prepare for this. Although, I know you can't really prepare for what lies ahead.

I had this vision of having a baby that looked like this. In the middle of the night my water would break all over. I'd wake Benny up screaming and we'd speed to the hospital - both looking like hell. We'd forget to grab the hospital bags. We'd bust through the emergency room doors and I'd have to be taken by wheelchair to the OB department where there'd be lots of chaos and pain and more pain and more chaos and then after several hours, out would come Poppy and we'd live happily ever after. (This could have been a movie!)

Now I was suddenly faced with being able to have clothes all set out to wear to the hospital (because that's important since I'll be changing immediately into a gown), our bags will be in the car, there will be no rushing to call family or friends to let them know we're on our way (or the hospital for that matter), my legs will be shaved (also, because that's important and anyone will notice). We'll get to the hospital and walk through the front entrance and check-in and then walk to the OB department where my doctor will calmly explain everything and we'll start the induction. And then hopefully sometime tomorrow we will finally be a mommy and daddy to this little Poppy we've been dying to meet.

I think I might have handled scenario one better because it would have left me no time to think about it. However, from the very beginning of this being pregnant thing, I knew that I'd have to have an open mind when it got to this point so I'm going in with the most positive attitude that it will go smoothly and we'll be holding our baby in no time.

It feels a lot like the night before our wedding (although, I wasn't about to experience a tramatic amount of pain then) - you knwo you're getting married, yet it doesn't seem real. I know I'm having a baby tomorrow, but it still hasn't hit me that I'll be holding this real live human being.

I just keep thinking .. this will be our last night at home just the two of us, our last supper as the two of us.. it's very surreal. And I mean this all in the best of ways. Sure, I'm slightly completely terrified for tomorrows events, but the thought of seeing this tiny little baby we have created for the very first time and seeing the look on my very best friend's face as he becomes a daddy will be enough to take away all the pain in the world. I am certain it will be love at first sight and it will only get better from there.

I keep telling myself God has prepared me for this day. He wouldn't have put this miracle in my tummy if he didn't think I could handle it. I know it won't be easy - I know it'll hurt - I know I'll be scared, but this is what God made our bodies for and somehow I'll push through it and Poppy will arrive. We pray that our baby has grown to be a healthy little one in my tummy over the last nine months and will have an easy entrance into this big world.


So here's to my last blog as a pregnant woman... Bring it on, motherhood!