The Dash

This Sunday was the third Sunday we attended a new church in Spirit Lake. We prefer a contemporary service, so we hadn't given the Presbyterian church a try yet but I decided to go with my friend Ashlee a few Sundays ago. Nick and I have been trying to find, and praying for, the right church since we moved here. I can't say for certain if we've found it just yet, but we have enjoyed and got so much out of this church in the 3 weeks we've been going that we keep wanting to go back.

I was so impressed from the minute we walked through the door at how welcome EVERY person in that church made us feel. We were approached after church by so many people asking our names and where we were from and told they were glad we came to worship today. We had not found this in any other church we have tried in the area. It was a great feeling, and I look forward to every Sunday!

Anyway, to the point.. The pastor at this church gives phenomenal sermons. I sometimes struggle (thank you, A.D.D combined with extreme fidgeting) to focus on what they are teaching and get lost in my own daydreams, but this man has my full attention from beginning to end. He makes sense, he doesn't skip around and lose me, and his messages are meaningful. This week was all about "the dash."

He started with a verse from Ecclesiastes which got my attention right away because it's well-known, one of my favorites, and I read it at Lauren's funeral:

There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the Heavens:
  a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
  a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
  a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

He went on to talk about "the dash." When you see a gravestone, you see a birth date and a death date, but what really matters -- the most meaningful part -- is the dash. It's the life in between those dates and how a person spent that time that really matters in the end. A woman wrote a poem about this and I hadn't read it before he mentioned it at church -- I'm sure many of you have heard of it, but I really love it.

The Dash Poem
by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
At the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on her tombstone
From the beginning to the end

He noted that first came the date of her birth
And spoke the following date with tears,
But he said what mattered most of all
Was the dash between those years

For that dash represents all the time
That she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
Know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not how much we own;
The cars, the house, the cash,
What matters is how we live and love
And how we spend our dash.

So think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left,
That can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
To consider what’s true and real
And always try to understand
The way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger,
And show appreciation more
And love the people in our lives
Like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect,
And more often wear a smile
Remembering that this special dash
Might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read
With your life’s actions to rehash
Would you be proud of the things they say
About how you spent your dash?

After Lauren passed away, I definitely began living my dash a little differently. The sunsets are a little more pink, the "I love yous" a little more frequent, the hugs a little longer, and relationships a little higher on the totem pole. Material things mean a little less. Worrying seems like a waste of time. Being who I am, speaking my mind and not caring what others think has become my thing. But I still need a little reminder from time to time...

And although this sermon touched me personally, it really is a message for us all. We spend our days worrying about how much money we have, what we look like, what others think of us. We always want more, but we never stop and smell the roses. We're so focused on our own lives, our busy schedules, our problems, our joys, ourselves that we fail to see the beauty in others and the struggles they are going through. We know that today could be our last day, but we still live as if there's a million tomorrows...

So, in the words of Clint Black, "I'm gonna spend my time like it's going out of style!"

How are you spending your dash?!